My Roommate, My Sister, My Health | armine's Blog

...Brief updates on these three subjects, in this order.

My roommate offered me some pizza last Friday night; I took a break from seeing my sister and I told her I didn't want any but I wound up taking some anyway. It had olives and onions on it; I tried to pick them off but I still tasted them in my mouth so later I wish I had just said NO and meant it, because I didn't want it anyway. Then the other night I was trying to sleep; it was 3 o'clock in the morning and my roommate had her TV turned WAY up. I could have gone into that living room, tied a noose around her neck and squeezed the life right out of her; I was really, really ticked off because I need to get to sleep at night because I go to work. I usually 'drift off' listening to parts of the Phil Hendrie show (sometimes I like his humor, other times I don't)... but the TV was so damn loud it was making me crazy, so I got up and went into the bathroom sevral times because I had to calm myself down. The strange thing is, that my roommate didn't even seem to notice; she absently looked at me when she went to turn down the thermostat about 3:30 am (her customary thing to do becfore she goes to bed for the night) and nothing was said about my being angry with her. Did she really not know, or was she just pretending she didn't know I was pissed? Then again maybe her mind was just in the far beyond; she doesn't have any sense of time and it really can get on my nerves. Must be nice to have a mommy with money - she doesn't have to work either! It's very up and down living with her.

I have decided that I'm only going to visit with my sister (the one with the fruit fly problem) twice a month; I did hit the red wine a bit more frequently last month than I probably should have but that is all over now. I need more time to myself - my sister is just going to have to understand that's how it is. She is a good deal younger than me (by 11 yrs.), so she doesn't understand it when I try to explain to her that Big Sis is starting to get older. She's not even 30 yet, whereas I will soon be saying goodbye to my 30s... so we are not in the same stage of life and I can't really expect her to understand what it's like being in the late 30's. It's different than your late 20's, that's for sure - which leads me to the next subject...

I decided to try a new product - Splenda with fiber - but it just isn't for me. I think I get enough fiber in my diet as it is... and without going into too much detail, let's just say 'too much of a good thing is no good' is true in this case as well. I have been feeling rather lethargic and tired as of late; part of this is probably due to astrological forces (the Sun is in my opposite sign, Capricorn, so it is affecting my natural energies to a degree) but part of it might just be that I am aging and my body is different. Middle age, as I understand it, is a kind of transition - but unlike adolescence (where the body prepares for young adulthood), during 'middle age' the body starts to prepare for old age (bummer!). Who wants to get old, really - I doubt that anyone does - but the reality is that everyone WILL get old, and aging is a process of nature. If you are health-conscious like me (and no doubt, that's a good thing), you can help yourself along as you age but you will still age. I don't want to look like I'm 22 when I'm 40; I'm not 22 anymore so why would I want to look like I am? I just want to look good for whatever-age-I-may-be, as the years go on. I want people to notice me and say "She looks good for her age", not "She looks like an overgrown teenager". I want my body to be sound and strong; I hope to hide my wrinkles from you but at the end of the day, when I take off my makeup, they will be there for me - I know this. You can defy nature, but only to a point; I believe that our bodies (which are physical things) go through a series of complex changes (many of them biological) as we go through different phases of life. There is no point in crying about not being 22 anymore; it is much more practical to try and stay as healthy as possible no matter what age you may be. I am about to start a new phase in my life, which is middle age - a part of me is scared, a part of me is resentful and a part of me is excited as well. It's going to be a time to say good-bye to my younger self, and usher in a newer, older me. I will strive to love this new chapter in my life, to continue to listen to my body and give it what it needs from me. We can stay healthy - but we will not stay young. And if you want to stay healthy into your middle years (and beyond), you have to accept where you are in life and realize it will take more effort to stay in the game from this point on. You will have to do more, but the challenges are worth staying healthy. It does feel different for me now. It isn't bad - just different.