Today Is A Special Day For Me | armine's Blog

Today marks the day I have been living without drugs for 12 years. The first year was very tough; I remember one of my sisters saying, "Yeah, right - she won't be able to kick her habit. She has tried before and failed, so what makes her think she will be a success with it now?" This is a sister that I am not very close to; she is the one living at home (basically living off my dad's money, because she decided to have a child), and she has the nerve to continue to look down on me because I was able to beat the addiction. I got her a mug for Christmas and a Christmas card... but basically, when I quit the habit I had no support whatsoever from anyone, I had to do it myself. I was tired of being broke all the time (drugs take a lot of your money), sick of living at home; it was just time to quit and yes, I did fail a couple of times prior to succeeding. One time I went 11 months, then smoked a joint again (that was a stupid thing to do). Anyway - this is a special day for me, to be sure. I find it interesting, how people seem to be less critical of potsmokers these days; the few times I visited NA (Narcotics Anonymous), they took any form of drug abuse very seriously, and abstinence was an absolute must in order to succeed in the program. I didn't stay in it, but the few times I did attend meetings I met some people who went through problems much harder than my own, and they had been able to quit their habit of using. And that brought it home to me: 'If they can do it, I can do it too' - and I did. It wasn't easy getting clean - I'm not going to lie about that - but you know what, once you get past that first year, you just want to keep going with it, and you don't want to go back. With the help of my 'higher power' (I'm more comfortable calling this entity 'my muse'; it's different for different people), I will be drug-free for the rest of my life. I do drink red wine, but I do not consider myself addicted to it - it's all about the antioxidants, baby. If I ever get into a problem with the substance where I feel like I am getting addicted to it (I know what addiction feels like), then guess what - I will quit it! I already promised myself that.

It was surprising (and sad) to learn yesterday that one of my circle members, Ms. Individual, has decided to leave Experience Project. Although she did leave some e-mail info for her circle friends, I doubt very much I will be contacting her. She was a very young person; and though I will miss her on this site, her health and well-being must come first. I wish her every happiness, and much prosperity in all of her future endeavors. Perhaps she will go into journalism, or something related to this - man, could that girl write stories!! Best of luck to her in the future.

The Internet has been set up at work; we will see how long this lasts. Actually it is only for supervisory personnel (I happen to be one); I have been given the password by John, who's running the show, because he 'doesn't want everyone having access to Internet' (smart choice, John; thank you). My biggest challenge, I think, will be to stay off my fave band's websites; I HAVE TO stay off of them, because once I am on it's very hard to get off (their sites are addictive to me!). We have a printer here, too... and I have been tempted to print out an image of the lead singer (I think the dude is one hot piece of beefsteak), with a chicken (or whatever it is) attached to his groin. It's part of one of the videos that they did, a few years back; boy I'd love to paste that image right over my bed, that's for sure! But no, I can't do that; I have to be a good girl on here, so I need to be cautious!

Think that's about all for now... hope everybody is looking forward to spring. Only about a month away, kids - hang in there, it is coming! Peace out...